Fear and Postpartum Depression
Are You Experiencing Fear & Postpartum Depression?
So many women who have children are much like myself I would imagine. It is the most beautiful, exciting and bonding time of your life. It can also be a time marked with disappointment, sadness, sheer exhaustion and hopelessness. Beginning with my second child and with each consecutive child through my 6th, I found myself struggling with this inner battle also referred to as postpartum depression. In many respects I found myself looking in the mirror and loathing the way my body looked and wondering if I would ever feel the way I use to.
Fear set in when I would hear women talk about that just being the way it was. I heard them talk about the sacrifices we make with the permanent changes to our bodies. It angered me. I thought why does it “have” to be this way? Why when we are such sexual beings do we just settle for the norm? I found that a lot of women did it as a protective means. Many said they felt guilty or selfish if they took care of themselves. Some said mothers were not intended to look sexy. I spoke with others who said that their marital relationships were in a poor state and they were fearful that if they got in shape they would no longer want to be with who they were with. I found that much of the postpartum weight that women struggle with is mostly associated with fear of something within themselves or their relationships.
Working, children, scouts, lessons, practices all were very consuming with a new baby. It didn’t seem like there should feasibly be time for me. But I knew I needed to do something…..and I wanted my health and my energy back. I knew I needed to begin an exercise and wellness regime to overcome the postpartum depression.
When I began training it was for me. I refused to feel selfish for it. My body was a gift….a gift that had given me six beautiful children. I remember one morning waking up and thinking to myself, “Everyone gets a piece of me…..and so do I!” With that motto I let go of the fear and felt motivated for whatever was ahead. I never planned to compete. I never planned that I would look and feel better than I ever did even in my 20’s. But when you begin a journey for you and go somewhere so many are afraid to go, self-worth becomes a companion. A continual respect for mind and body ensues. Letting go of what seems to be the norm cannot only be easy, but welcomed. My journey became my destiny. Regardless of any judgment that may have been passed by someone else’s fear, I know I am happier and feel better. As I watch my children become adults, I see the positive impact this has had on them. I’m thankful for their personal decisions to care for themselves.
In caring for our own health and wellness, we have so much more to offer those around us. I am forever grateful for the choice I made to overcome postpartum depression and embrace something that brings me continual hope and accomplishment.